Checkered Past

Yes, it's broken and it needs fixing

Come on, now. Everytbody knows that cheating is what other people do. You and I and the race teams we like? Just behaving strategically thanks.

NASCAR's John Darby called it correctly last weekend when he said he sees cheating in most of the other sports, too, not just big-time stock car racing. On practically every down in every game on every NFL Sunday, guys are getting away with holding or face mask violations. Or worse.

How many players do you see living in the paint when you're watching a basketball game. Fouls? Forget it.

And, yes, corked bats do still find their way into a dugout every now and again. (Can you cork an aluminum bat?)

Even we hackers and duffers have been known to sometimes rely on the time-honored tradition of the mulligan, which some people - certainly no one in our regular foursome - might label as cheating. But who knew that "the boys back at the shop" included dozens of guys working full time, trying to find an advantage that's by its very nature out of bounds at best and cheating at its worst? Am I the only one who thinks that's positively Enron-esque? It's precisely the situation our Daytona 500 winner, Jimmie Johnson, describes. "We have 45 engineers at Hendrick Motorsports that are trying to make our cars better and trying to beat the system," Johnson said. "(Ryan Newman) has a staff trying to do the same thing. Years ago this was a fun game between the sanctioning body and the crew chiefs. Now with all the eyes watching, it's turned into a different animal and there's such a negative spin off." It's only negative if it's you getting caught, right? And I don't think it was all fun and games in the old days either. Today's stakes are higher, sure, but that doesn't mean anyone was taking it lightly when it was their car in the cross hairs. You know how NASCAR likes to promote the "car of tomorrow" and some of its other unpopular ideas as cost-saving measures? I think we've just come across an area where the savings could be both immediate and huge. When someone gets caught cheating - whether it's Johnson's No. 48 team or anyone else's - make them pay by having to sit out the next race. No discussion, no appeal. Have a seat, fellas. And let's see if the number of people with that job description Johnson describes doesn't slip a little bit in all of the shops. If NASCAR smacked the offending teams - and their multimillion-dollar sponsors - with the loss of TV time on Sunday and the chance that they, too, could miss the 10-race playoff Chase, I'm thinking we'd see some pretty quick results. Instead of signing big ol' checks and hoping their team looks good on Sunday, the sponsors would be in a much better position to insist on - demand even - something way more important from the teams than wins, places and shows. Actual accountability, for instance.

Bet? What bet? I don't see no stinking bet

A bet, it seems, isn't a bet if the guy you want to bet doesn't want to play. Furthermore, it can be argued that a bet isn't a bet if the principals don't shake hands.

Wasn't it that way when you were little, too? You could bet a guy he couldn't -  or wouldn't dare - ride his bike down a certain hill without using his brakes. And if he did it, then tried to collect, you could always say, "Nuh-uh! We didn't shake!"

That is apparently where we stand on Miller's attempt to bet Budweiser on the Friday before the Daytona 500.

Miller, the beer company that sponsors Kurt Busch in NASCAR's Nextel Cup Series, challenged Anheuser-Busch, the makers of Budweiser. The would-be wager was that their guy would come out ahead of Bud's man, Dale Earnhardt Jr., in the final standings in November.

The loser would carry the winner's paint scheme in one Nextel Cup race in the 2007 season.

There was no formal response from Anheuser-Busch, but Earnhardt Jr. allowed that he was going to focus instead on racing and making NASCAR's 10-race playoff this season. He didn't reckon he'd spend much time worrying about a publicity stunt that someone in Milwaukee had hatched.

So there you have it. There is no bet between the brewers, even if there are less-formal side bets on the outcome of such a race. And, I also have it on good authority that the Budweiser people did not make a counter-offer, which was rumored to have gone something like this:

"Heck, if your man finishes within 15 spots of ours in the most-popular driver balloting, we'll paint everything we own blue for the whole danged season."

So let's just lay that one to rest. Even if had "update" in big ol' red letters twice right beside it, that's simply NOT true. Didn't happen. Not even a little bit.

But 'cheating' is such a harsh term

We racing fans are a funny bunch. Funny as in "sheesh," not funny "ha ha."

We'll put Smokey Yunick on the best damned pedestal in town for his wonderfully creative interpretations of NASCAR's so-called rules, then turn around and act as if someone's made off with the Sunday collection plate when we see it in real time.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying Chad Knaus is yet qualified to even carry Smokey Yunick's toolbox, but you've got to admit, the boy's got ambition.

Former crew chief Gary Nelson is revered - to a point - by many fans because he parlayed his experience on the grey areas of NASCAR rules into a full-time gig with the company itself. Not that it's cut into the creativity quotient in stock car racing.

Yunick was hardly the first guy to find those grey areas and obviously enough wasn't the last. Tom Jensen's fine book, "Cheating (along with a paragraph or two worth of subtitling)" is chock-full of stories about crew chiefs locked in seemingly mortal combat with NASCAR inspectors.

On one level, Jensen and others have described this ongoing battle as one between the Rolexes and the Timexes. The crew chiefs' more expensive brand of wristwear being more than a chronometer, it's also testament to who wins that battle most often.

I completely agree with David Poole's assessment on NASCAR word play, which he filed late last week.

Jimmie Johnson talked about crew chief Chad Knaus working in the "grey areas" and getting ejected after "crossing the line."

Let's not mess with euphemisms. Based on what's been said about what was wrong with the No. 48 Chevrolet, the team wasn't playing around the edges of the rules. When you rig parts into a mechanical contraption in an effort to deflect air off the rear spoiler, you're overtly trying to break rules.

That's cheating.

If rationalizing that away by using terms like "grey area" helps you sleep at night, fine.

We are, at our very core, a polite society. So we frequently dance around the harder and colder word choices. But when we use those softer words often enough, they even start to sound like the truth.

You don't, for instance, often hear about the neighbors getting a divorce because Fred was working in the grey areas with his secretary. Or Jill was pushing the envelope with the mail carrier. Maybe that's what we tell the kids, but deep down, we know what it is.

And we don't have to look it up on ThatsCheatin.com.

Smokey Yunick used to work practically non-stop on making his cars win. And, sometimes, according to Jensen's book and Yunick's own, he'd really trick something up that was fairly easy for the inspectors to find.

And while they were busy patting themselves on the back for having "caught" the wily innovator, they'd completely overlook the real work he'd done deeper within the beast he'd created. And the changes he'd made in those less obvious "grey areas" were the ones that would win him the race.

That's part of why, in many suspicious minds, there will always be an asterisk next to Jimmie Johnson's name in the Daytona 500 record book.

Beer, betting and racing? Why, what an improbable combination

If you are of legal drinking age, or have been for any reasonable length of time, you might just have made a beer bet somewhere along the way. But I'll bet your stakes weren't as big as what Miller Brewing Co. is talking about in its challenge to business and racing rival Anheuser-Busch.

Miller is betting Bud that Kurt Busch's No. 2 Dodge will be up on Dale Earnhard Jr.'s No. 8 Chevy in the final Nextel Cup season standings next fall. Loser gets to carry the winner's colors in one race during the 2007 season, although the challenge hadn't been answered by midday Friday.

Kurt Busch drives the Miller Lite Dodge now, but the Penske car made last season's Chase with Rusty Wallace behind the wheel. Busch also made NASCAR's 10-race Chase, but in one of Jack Roush's Fords.

Neither Earnhardt Jr. nor his car made the Chase in 2005. So this little wager might settle a lot of arguments. And start many, many more. Along with a few side bets.

I agree with Miller's marketing guy, Tom Long, that this could be fun.

One risk I see for Miller and /or Bud - aside from any chance of losing to the other - is that a car carrying another brewer's colors might beat either or both of them.

Hello, Guinness? Are you Irish guys up to speed on this NASCAR thing?

From the Desk of the Mayor

I’ve got to tell you right up front that I’ve always been kind of antsy around politicians. Hasn’t mattered whether they were Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Libertarians or however they’ve labeled themselves. They’ve just always given me the heebie-jeebies and made me watch my thin ol’ wallet a little more closely when they’re around.

But that was until I became acquainted with Evan Baldwin, The Mayor of Speedweeks 2006.

As the Daytona International Speedway website put it:

The votes are in.  There were no hanging chads and there were no lawsuits.  Your new mayor won in a landslide.

Deland, Florida’s Evan Baldwin was selected as the 2006 honorary “Mayor of Speedweeks” in a contest held by Daytona International Speedway and Black Crow Broadcasting (WVYB, 103.3 FM; WHOG, 95.7;  93.1 KRO Country).  Hundreds of fans threw their hats in the political arena, vying for the “Mayor” title.

The winner pointed out in his application that “despite a limited budget, I have attended 18 NASCAR sanctioned races in the last two years.  I would consider it an honor to get the opportunity to experience “race-fandom” at its fullest.”

“We’re excited to have such a fanatical race fan be voted in as “Mayor of Speedweeks,” said Daytona International Speedway President Robin Braig.  “We look forward to Evan upholding the values and traditions of Speedweeks and this historic speedway.  Most of all, we look for Evan to have a great time over the next few weeks.”

That last part, to say the least, is going extremely well, the mayor says.

And Evan ­– I’m sorry, Hizzoner the Mayor – has agreed to share a lot of his experiences with ThatsRacin.com readers in The Infield blog over the next couple of weeks. We’ll get one of those rare ringside seats as Mayor Baldwin executes his formal duties as the racing continues at Daytona.

From the Desk of the Mayor

By Evan Baldwin

Ever been to a “Battle of the Bands”?  Where all the local bands get together and have one big concert to see who is the best?  Well, imagine if you had backstage passes to the biggest battle of the bands of all time.  Instead of local talent, the backstage area was filled with some of the biggest national acts of all time.  Up-and-coming bands like Nickelback and Linkin Park.  Established groups like Metallica and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.  And legendary groups like Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones.  And you were able to roam amongst them, talking about music, or anything else that your heart desires.

Well, that is what it is like being in the garage area for a Nascar race.  As one of the perks of my being the “Mayor of Speedweeks” for 2006, I was able to get into the garage area during the recent “Pre-Season Thunder” testing sessions in Daytona.  There I was able to meet and talk to up-and-coming drivers like Kyle Busch and Travis Kvapil, established drivers like Greg Biffle and Kurt Busch, and legendary drivers like Jeff Gordon and Rusty Wallace.

I was able to talk to almost every driver, as well as the owners and chew chiefs, and the whole experience has given me a new understanding and appreciation for all the hard work that goes on in the garage.  At one of the fan forums where the drivers get on stage and engage in a question and answer session with all the fans attending Pre Season Thunder, I was introduced to the crowd by Daytona International Speedway President Robin Braig.  I received some pretty big cheers!  Also, some fans wanted a picture of me, and some even wanted my autograph!  Of course, I realize that part of the reason for this desire was due to consumption of their favorite beverage throughout the day, but it was a big thrill for me nonetheless!

In the upcoming weeks, I will try to convey to you a sense of the experiences that I am able to have due to my being “The Mayor”, and give you a sense of some of the sights and sounds that I will be fortunate enough to enjoy.  I look forward to the start of the Nascar season each and every year, but I have a feeling that this year is going to be extra special.  Until next time!