Taking New York by storm - or not

By Carol Einarsson

In case you missed the big NASCAR appearance on the "Today" show Wednesday morning, be thankful you did.

Never have I seen ten guys that are accustomed to being on TV look so uncomfortable. Okay, well, maybe that time last year when they made the ten chasers model clothes on Regis' show.  But there they were, dressed in their uniforms, and standing together in a semicircle to be interviewed from a distance by Al Roker and some girl that I don't know.

The interview started with Tony, and asked him about how this championship compared to the last one, and they made sure to reference the team pow-wow that set Tony on the right course. Then they moved on to JJ, and asked him how it felt to have blown his chances. Next they asked Kurt Busch what it was like to be suspended for the last two races because of the reckless driving charges. They then asked Carl how he'll top his back-flips next year. From there they moved on to Mark Martin and made a joke that his sponsor was Viagra. And running short of time, I guess, they skipped Ryan and Kenseth, Al looked at Rusty and said, "You're retiring, aren't you?" Then it was as if Biffle and Mayfield were invisible. All the while, they all ten stood smiling. After a commercial break, all the drivers were standing by their cars as Al tried to introduce them one by one. Pity nobody told them there'd be a camera on them. They started in the back with Kurt standing by the 97 car, which was just an odd sight, I have to say. Then they moved to Jeremy. After that it went downhill. They introduced Ryan as Rusty, and when they tried to introduce Biffle, he wasn't even aware they were back from break. Eventually all the drivers got in their cars for what was to be a lap around the block. Well, there's one hang-up. apparently they put chimps in charge. The parade lap was mostly like every other day on the streets of Manhattan - slow and mostly stopped. So there they sat, with engines rumbling, and Al waving a green flag like it was a fairy godmother's wand. Then the mocking began with Roker saying things like, "Oooh, they're really going fast NOW." And "Look at the people that are walking by - they're walking faster than the race cars!" Then they showed an overhead shot for awhile with the cars sitting, bumper to bumper, held up by the 05 pace car and then some kind of rig that looked like it was carrying people on the back of it. It was all at a standstill for no explained reason. As they would move an inch at a time, Tony (who was in the lead with one of the "Today" hosts in his car with him) would let the pace car gain about three feet and then he'd lurch ahead. It was almost like he felt bad for not being able to give his ride-along guest a greater thrill. The highlight was when Carl almost hit The Biff because he was expecting this parade lap to actually go faster than half a mile an hour. And then Biffle was bump drafting Tony. It was an overhead shot that spoke volumes - here they were, finally away from the surreal environment and back at "home" in their race cars, bumper to bumper with each other. When the cars finally did get a tiny procession moving forward, the overhead shot showed cavalier New Yorkers just walking and ignoring this sight that was theirs to behold a mere ten feet away. But they ignored it like it was just another wacky New York parade. They just continued walking on their way, oblivious to NASCAR's visit to their fine city. Of course, it was obvious why NASCAR feels compelled to build a race track in New York. Clearly the place is teeming with race fans.