Unleash the sponsorless Crocker

By Mike Harper

At times people have described me as being "Chandler-like." You know Chandler Bing? He was a character on the television sitcom "Friends" and had a habit of making a joke out of everything. Chandler loved sarcastic jokes so much that his friends had a hard time determining what was a serious comment versus what was another joke.

On one episode, his friends challenged him to not make fun of anyone for an entire week. That’s right, a difficult task for some of us. But when his friend Ross started dating a girl with the last name of Hornswoggle, Chandler couldn’t hold back and lost the challenge. Sarcastically Chandler asked Ross, "What, are you dating a character from Fraggle Rock?"

My wife and I enjoy making each other laugh by coming up with this kind of stuff daily. So, when I stopped by to see what driver Erin Crocker had written about this week in her weekly contribution on another web site, my mind filled with all kinds of thoughts.

Needless to say, Crocker is in the need of a sponsor for next season. Crocker said, "It's definite that Betty Crocker and General Mills won't be coming back with us in 2007."

Personally, I think it’s a shame because I thought Betty Crocker sponsoring Erin Crocker was a great coincidence. I would think seeing your sponsor’s name that happens to be your name on the car and uniform is a neat deal. Don’t you think so Paul Menard?

Crocker went on to say about finding a sponsor, "I don't really want to see some underwear with my name on it when I'm at the racetrack, but Victoria's Secret, that's a great brand. I'm certain they wouldn't want me to do any modeling for them, but having them for a sponsor would be great."

In an effort to keep the peace, I will keep my mouth shut about her comments. But I figured I could provide a public service to Crocker and her Evernham Motorsports team by helping them out with some sponsorship ideas for their car.

The Oxygen Network Dodge: It’s no secret that Erin Crocker is a woman. And the Oxygen Network is dedicated to bringing women (and the men who love women) the edgiest entertainment on television. I didn’t say it, they did.

eHarmony.com Dodge: The company dedicated to building happy and lasting relationships would be a perfect fit for Crocker and the Evernham team. Just ask Jeremy Mayfield.

Clinique Dodge: Guys, its perfume and skin products not some strange Chinese food. Great products and a perfect Christmas gift for the wife.

HeadOn – Apply directly to the forehead Dodge: Do I need to say more?

KitchenAid Refrigerators Dodge: Stop it! It’s not what you think. Actually, the refrigerator is the 10^th greatest engineering achievement of the 20^th Century according to the National Academy of Engineering. The fact is Crocker holds a bachelor’s degree in Industrial and Management Engineering. Cool deal! Get it – cool deal?

Feel free to throw out some recommendations!

On a serious note with no sarcasm involved, I believe Erin Crocker is a very talented driver. While I think she has fallen short of her NASCAR expectations, she has begun to show signs of improvement.

When she raced in the ARCA RE/MAX Series this season she did very well. Crocker finished in the top 15 every time she raced this season in ARCA with the exception of one race where engine problems caused a 36^th place finish at Nashville. At Kansas, Crocker finished second behind 2006 ARCA champion Frank Kimmel, but beat out Steve Wallace, Blake Bjorklund, Justin Allgaier, Dexter Bean and Dodge Motorsports’ developmental driver Scott Lagasse.

My take on Crocker for next season – Ray Evernham should utilize the Dodge Motorsports driver development program and have Crocker run the full ARCA RE/MAX Series schedule. I’m not saying remove her from NASCAR, but give her an opportunity in ARCA to gain additional experience, build her confidence by putting her in a position to win races and I’m sure she’d even be in the running for an ARCA championship.

It’s amazing what confidence building can do to the mind of a race car driver. Crocker can win in ARCA and when she does she’ll be a better race car driver because of it.