No JR Motorsports ride for me, either

By DAVID GREEN

This just in, from home offices in North Carolina and Kentucky: My people have not spoken to Dale Jr.'s people -- no phone calls, no text messages, no tweets -- and at this point in time, I have no plans to race at Daytona in February.

That puts me squarely within a group including several million other folks -- including Danica Patrick.

Stop the presses!

Am I the only one who's way past tired of the obsession with Danica (not) coming to NASCAR?

The whole circus reminds me of a time when I worked for a small newspaper, and every time there was a local election, this one fellow would drop by the newsroom and deliver a "news release" stating that he would not run for office this time.

I suppose our judgment was wrong when we politely thanked him for letting us know, and then quickly spiked this non-story.

Yes, yes, I know -- Danica is a much hotter property than my example of the non-candidate. And she's so much hotter than I am (in so many ways). And some reporting of contact between Patrick and anybody in the NASCAR world is appropriate.

But, come on. How many times do we need to be told that there's nothing done yet?

Personally, I don't care whether Patrick comes to NASCAR -- part-time, full-time, now or whenever. My opinion is that it would be a huge mistake as far as her career as a racing driver is concerned, although it might surely be financially lucrative.

I believe it would be detrimental to the Indy Racing League, but if the IRL never rises above gimmick-driven popularity and develops some drivers who are stars because of their on-track exploits and in spite of things such as gender and sex appeal, it is doomed to a less-than-stratospheric future, anyway. Danica can help, in fact has helped, the IRL get where it wants to be, but she can do only so much.

She has already had to deal with the "when is she ever gonna win?" questions, and finally got a victory to answer them -- for the time being.

However, one race victory at Motegi did not represent the realization of her perceived potential. She has yet to establish herself as a winner beyond that one race, or even as a consistent contender to become a winner.

When (if) she checks that objective off her to-do list, she and the IRL will be hugely better off for it.

When (if) she decides to come to NASCAR, yes -- it will be news. For awhile, every turn of the wheels of her stock car will be newsworthy, although coverage of each of those turns will probably be over the top.

But until there's something substantial to report, I suggest to the motor sports press -- give it a rest.

Even the more-than-once-a-day Brett Favre stories had more merit than this, and the old "Saturday Night Live" line by Chevy Chase ("This just in -- Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead") was a lot funnier.

If we have to monitor this on a minute-by-minute basis, may I suggest the military formula for "sit reps," or situation reports. We can sum it up in five words from the phonetic alphabet: "Alpha Sierra, Sierra Romeo Sierra."

It means, "All secure, situation remains (the) same."

It's a little less hysterical than, "Nobody is shooting at us! Nobody is shooting at us! Nobody is shooting at us!"